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The People Pleasing Deficit

A new paradigm for giving



People pleasers please because they believe they are constantly functioning at a deficit in value. Even though they constantly give, they don’t view it as service because their brain has been conditioned to believe that their actions, words, or behavior is only of service if it meets certain conditional criteria - such as appreciation, connection, compensation, or validation from the other person.


If those conditions are absent, we assume that we have not been of service and we discount that action, word, or behavior as meaningless. What’s important to understand is that you are the worst judge of your own actions. You cannot possibly know the depth of how you have been of service to other human beings. You don’t understand how a simple smile can turn someone’s day around or your kind words can change the course of someone’s life.


You have participated in countless acts that have provided immeasurable value to the world. Just because you cannot see it, does not mean that it doesn’t exist. Yet, because you can’t see it, you continue to believe that you are at a deficit and need to be of more service in order to be of value.


You are not functioning at a deficit of value. Your value actually far exceeds your capacity for logical understanding. Your brain has been conditioned to believe in the deficit. What is actually more true is that your value is in surplus and there is so much more available for you to receive then you ever believed possible.


What if you stopped overgiving, and simply focused on receiving.

What if you were free to choose your actions not based on a belief in the deficit but rather from a belief in the surplus of your goodness?



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